yep yep

Carson

2010-05-14T21:01:00.000-07:00

Today Dad took Carson out to feed the chickens like he has all of the young grandkids... Carson didn't want to leave the coop so Dad came back inside and left Carson outside. Kelly was watching him from the window when she began laughing.. I went out to investigate and this is what I found.

Checkin in...

2009-11-14T11:54:00.000-08:00

Yup, they haven't cancelled my account due to non-usage yet.
I'm surprised!

a quick run down...

2009-03-10T08:10:00.000-07:00

The lyrics to one of my fav. songs....

What do I, what do I, what do I need
To do to get myself in a better mood
What do you, what do you, what do you need
To do to get yourself in a better mood
Well there's not a lot for you to give if you're giving in
And there's not a lot for you to feel if you're not feeling it
You bring it up and bring it in and we'll get you fixed up in no time
What I wanted most, what I wanted most, what I wanted most
Was to get myself all figured out
And what I figured out, what I figured out, what I figured out
Was that I needed more time to figure you out
There's not a lot for you to give if you're giving in
And there's not a lot for you to feel if you're not feeling it
You bring it up and bring it in and we'll get you fixed up in no time
Cause this love is all I have to give
This love is all I have to give

.
.
.

bomb!!! -- bay

2008-12-12T20:50:00.000-08:00

so my friend cristyle took me and jen to the bombay house for some indian food..
one word.. delicious

this is cristyle

this is jenny

we had a fun time trying to get a picture taken

the food was amazing and the company even better!!

thanks cristyle and jenny!!!!

tagged!

2008-12-08T15:24:00.000-08:00

i was tagged by stacy... not myself silly, the other one. the better of the two of us... so here we go!

7 things i can do:
1. knit/sew/crochet
2. draw
3. play the guitar
4. write
5. speak spanish
6. cook
7. give great high fives!

7 things i cannot do:
1. the splits
2. play the drums
3. blog everyday
4. chew gum without blowing bubbles or popping it
5. go a week without wearing at least 4 skirts
6. put a book down once i start it
7. umm... think of a 7th thing i cannot do

7 things that attract me to... ??
well not having a better half yet, the 7 things that i am attracted to in a guy are:

1. sense of humor
2. testimony
3. intelligence
4. smile
5. optimism
6. adventure
7. common sense

7 things i say more often:
1. rock on
2. no way
3. huh?
4. yeah
5. love you, dude
6. sweet/cool/nice

7. thank you for calling *****, this is stacy, how can i help you? (pathetic, i know)
7 celebrity admirations:
1. natalie portman (beautiful and smart)
2. hulk hogan (c'mon.. he's the hulkster!)
3. my mom (she's a rock star in my book!)
i can't think of anyone else right now...

7 favorite foods:
1. cucumbers in vinegar
2. ice cream
3. my mom's homemade soups
4. sticky buns
5. pizza/pasta
6. my dad's peach cobbler
7. my mom's salsa with lots of tabasco sauce

7 people to tag:
1. roundy
2. shelye
3. jen
4. amy
5. brandi
6. briana
7. michelle

(all of which have probably been tagged before by someone else)

2008-12-03T11:48:00.000-08:00

ok.. so this morning (7am.. still kind of dark outside) i'm riding into work with my dad.. we jump on the freeway and head towards salt lake... my dad notices a train headed in the same direction around the mountain. i see him glance at it a few times and expect to hear him say something like, 'i'm gonna beat the train' (which would have been ideal cause i got out the door a few minutes late and racing the train would have guaranteed that i would have been on time), instead he asks, "is that engine going backwards?"... i look up i notice that it does appear that the train is going backwards, (it wasn't... they had just attached the engine to the end of the train so it was the caboose, but was the light was on, so it did kind of look like it was going backwards). i, humoring my father like the good daughter that i am, said "huh.. it kind of does" and was about to leave it at that... until i looked at my dad and he said the following... "i apologize.. i should have said 'locomotive'... cause i said 'engine' and you probably thought i was referring to an 'indgeon' (pronouncing it very similar to engine)... ya know.. and 'indian'.. a 'native american indian'". and he proceeded to laugh like it was the funniest thing he had ever heard.
my early morning drives to work scare me... cause the more i think about it.. the more i realize i'm a lot my my father and that worries me.

5 things i forgot i knew

2008-11-29T10:49:00.000-08:00

eggnog is delicious

back friday doesn't feel like a friday in fact it feels like a full work week rolled into one with how much work you end up having to do to fight through the crowds

there is no such thing as a tabasco sauce overdose

bowling is exercise

when you need something done right... don't let my dad do it or at least make sure he has help from someone who knows what they're doing.. (no hot water today)

my new little nephew

2008-11-13T21:03:00.001-08:00

last week thursday my sister kelly had her third baby.
carson otto harward
8 lbs 10 oz, 21 in long

priceless

he's so cute

this was after his bath
1 day old

DeposiPac Robot Suit

2008-09-19T16:41:00.000-07:00

So being the ninja that i am... i make myself a deposipac robot suit. (i was part of a product fair in july at my place of employment... one of the booths was promoting deposipacs and when the fair was all over they were going to throw the remaining ones that they had away... until i intervened!)

this is a deposipac:

it's a safe and convinient way of storing your money on it's way to the bank... need to make a large deposit? well, here is what you've never known you've always been looking for, a deposipac.

so a took a small but sizable pile home, (cause i save every nickle and dime and had a lot of money to deposit into my savings account... not) i had other plans in store for my deposipacs. i made a robot suit.

it has short sleeves cause boy was it hot after a couple of hours wearing it.

it's going to be the new fall fashion trend.

you can kind of see my scrubs sticking out. i couldn't quite get my butt completely covered. wardrobe malfunction. sorry

and for your enjoyment:

the end

i apol-o-gize

2008-09-07T19:40:00.000-07:00

so it has been awhile since i've posted, it's been mostly due to the fact that things are pretty crazy. everything is crazy. my brother and his wife got some crazy little dogs and i never thought it possible to like little dogs, but i'm just crazy about those puppies! so cute! also, i'm going to be working 20 hrs of overtime this coming week and it's going to be crazy! and my paycheck will be freakin' crazy! that's the motivation. life is crazy. summer is almost over... that is crazy! some of the leaves behind or house have already started to turn. my friend jana and her beautiful family stopped by today! nothing has made me happier these last few weeks! it was a great surprise! it definitely made my month! i'm not looking forward to tomorrow... it'll be a loooong 14 1/2 hr day! crazy. so i apologize in advance for probably not posting anything new this coming week... and for not posting anything the last few weeks. forgive me.

couldn't have said it better myself

2008-08-12T09:34:00.001-07:00

What Stacy Means

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.
You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.
You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.
You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.
A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.
You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.
You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

What's" Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

reunion

2008-08-11T19:22:00.001-07:00

this last week was awesome! i started helping my friend jessi get her nursery ready for her first baby... on monday i went over and moved everything out of the room, cleaned the walls, sanded, and i tried spackling. then on thursday i went back over to sand some more and wiped down the walls... then the primer went on! 1 coat of paint down and 2 more to go! jessi is such a cute pregnant lady! and she's such a trooper! i haven't heard her complain once.. and she was all about helping me sand and paint! before we put the primer on we went to lowe's to get a paint tray and we stopped at dairy queen to grab a bite to eat... then we got started on the nursery. it's going to look super cute when it's done. i'll post pictures when it's done.
on friday after work i got started on the backyard, which was in poor condition.. i was up early saturday morning to finish, but it'll never look as good as i dream about it looking cause my dad doesn't think we need to take a trip to the dump. i told him i would pay whatever the fee was, but he was adamant about just using our garbage cans. so by early afternoon both garbage cans were overflowing and there was still stuff i wanted to get done... sigh. oh well. i gave up at about 1:30pm or so and went inside to clean the bathrooms and my bedroom. then around 5:30pm people from my old ward started arriving, (i know what you were you thinking.. there had to be a motive for my constant cleaning, right? well right you are!). it was so much fun to see everyone! my friend stacy was here from florida and i hadn't seen her for years! it was fun to see her beautiful little family and to catch up on what's going on with everyone. it was fun to have the old gang together.. we were missing a few people but for the most part the meadow ward gang had been reunited in i don't know how long! jeff has kids, johnny has a kid and another on the way, scott a. is expecting! these are my best friends growing up and it's awesome to see their own families growing. i hope we can always remain close! that is my goal, i will do my best to keep in contact with everyone and plan a reunion at least every year! and whenever stacy is in town for sure!
(people we were missing were elizabeth, kathryn, philip, losili, emily...i'm sure there are more but i can't think right now)
it was a great week!

2008-07-30T19:19:00.000-07:00

I think: life is beautiful
I know: death is not the end
I want: my back tickled in sacrament meeting
I have: unlimited potential
I wish: i would start a non-profit org. to help the homeless, and another one to provide better medical equipment to Argentina
I hope: that the good in me outweighs the bad
I hate: mushrooms, (barf!)
I miss: Argentina
I fear: losing a member of my family
I smell: hot chocolate
I crave: mate
I wonder: what it'd be like to see with both eyes again
I regret: losing contact with a lot of friends from my past
I love: my life
I care: about other people
I always: have crazy dreams
I am not: the first to apologize
I believe: that progression is the key to happiness
I dance: when i see other people dancing
I sing: in the car, i rock out in the car!
I don't always: wear make up
I write: when i play the guitar
I loose: my glasses often
I win: belching contests
I never: thought i'd have a blog
I listen: when i'm not talking
I am scared: when it's late and i'm home alone
I need: veggies
I am happy: when i help others

muahahaha

2008-07-30T17:51:00.000-07:00

'a' for 'adventure'

2008-07-29T16:50:00.050-07:00

so this last weekend we went to idaho with the padres. good times. we left early saturday and got to burley by 930am.. we went to straight to the chapel and listened to lavell edwards speak.. it was a good talk. we then headed over to the town park where we chowed down on dutch oven potatoes, sweet pork, and homemade scones with homemade honey butter. de-lish! so after we ate we were trying to figure out what hotel we were staying at.. my dad was insistent that he had made reservations through orbit and we were staying somewhere in oakley.. that's what he said! i called all 4 hotels in oakley and verified that they had no reservations for us.. and that they had no room in the inn. bummer. so what do we do? i didn't want to stay at my aunts house and inconvenience her.. my cousin reminded us that the twin falls temple was having it's open house before it was dedicated.. so yes! we have a plan, we drive to twin falls and go through the temple. beautiful, beautiful, beautiful! it was a great experience.

(as we were walking through i noticed an older couple in our group.. i also noticed that they didn't have garment lines.. i know, i know.. but being a member my whole life it's something that i notice.. i don't look for it, but i notice... so anyways, it was a safe assumption that they hadn't been through a temple before.. we went through each room.. the celestial room was beautiful! the chandelier was amazing! we stood there in silence and i noticed the lady didn't seem amused.. she looked around, taking note, but she didn't have the same look in her eyes that was in everyone else's. next we headed to the sealing room.. the guide described that this was the room where a man and woman were sealed to each other in this life and in the next.. i looked over at the lady who was mearly listened, not so much paying attention to his words, but just hearing them. as everyone began leaving the room the guide stepped back in and mentioned that they could look in the mirrors and they would reflect on and on in a representation of eternity.. we were some of the last to leave and i watched this older couple step in front of the mirror, the lady holding onto the man's arm, encouraging him to stop and wait next to her. and that's when it happened! i saw the corners of her mouth curl.. and before i knew it she had a grin on her face. she spoke to the man and showed him the reflection. they smiled and spoke quietly to each other. wow. what a difference i saw in this woman.. as we finished the tour i saw them in the cultural hall of the church next to the temple with the same smile on her face that i saw appear in the sealing room. funny how she had seemed so unaffected by the other beauties that were found in the temple.. it's a beautiful thing when the spirit testifies to us what we already knew but have forgotten because of the veil.. that this life isn't the end, that we will live again because our Savior died and resurrected for us and through repentance we can become clean again and be with our loved ones forever. that is the purpose of temples. to worship and follow our Savior and to live together as families after this life. there is no greater happiness).

so after leaving the temple we decided not to head back to burley for the rodeo, instead we headed towards sun valley.. when we got there we had dinner at a nice restaurant, got some ice cream and chocolate and headed back towards twin falls, and there we stopped at more hotels than i'd like to count, all of them with no rooms available. finally we stopped at a run down motel with one smoking room left. we took it. there was no a/c and it looked like a motel in a scary slasher movie where whoever goes in, doesn't come out. i was willing to drive home that night but my dad didn't want to go get his money back.. so we settled in. i slept in my clothes, with my shoes on, and with the car keys next to my bed. i woke up several times to make sure the keys were still there, everyone was accounted for and breathing, and to kick the bed my dad was in cause he was snoring. the night went by slower than i had hoped for and i breathed a sigh of relief when the sun came up. then we were off, we stopped at burley and had breakfast and got home later in the afternoon. it was an eventful weekend full of fun and excitement. my parents were troopers. i'm glad they don't mind having me around.. to say the least last weekend won't be one easily forgotten!

hot roddin'

2008-07-23T15:49:00.000-07:00

i went to tooele in a hot rod yesterday.

the speedometer didn't work but i'd say we got going at least 200* mph.

check out the reflection in the back of the chrome headlight.

so cool

i even got to drive it!

* number has been slightly exaggerated to make me look cooler-even though nothing could be cooler than driving in a hot rod, unless of course i had a slurpee in hand.

3 of my favorite things

2008-07-19T16:30:00.000-07:00

ok... i'm not going to wait any longer to post the answers.. good job you two for playing! you both were so close to answering them correctly that you both get great big high hi's!

on to the answers...

1. shiva on the top of the couch

2. cooper's crinkle nose

(i still definitely see a hamburger!!)

3. gordon's smile line

4. shiva's back paw

well done! james is the winner this time around.

i only have a minute to write and i wanted to get the answers out cause i know everyone was dying with anticipation to know what they were.. next round i will be more creative, promise.

peace!

(and the 'i want an asian baby' comment was from some lady on the news the other night.. there was a special on international adoption and there's some program that comes to utah to help make the adoption process run a lot smoother.. and some white chick said, 'my husband and i have 5 children, (short pause).. and i've always wanted an asian baby'... what?! i was in the kitchen making dinner for mom and dad and my mouth dropped when i heard her)

I've always wanted an asian baby.. what?!

2008-07-18T07:13:00.000-07:00

ok.. so my work project is finally over! whew! it was a success so no complaints and no regrets. i am very happy it's over though. so now on to the other things that i've go going on this month..

let's play another game.. same rules apply, (no cheating james or you'll be disqualified).

guess what the picture is.. you can guess more than once. after everyone has had adequate time to guess i will post what the pictures are and who the winner is. good luck to everyone! (i apologize that the pictures are somewhat pix elated.. i cropped pictures that i already had but enlarged them so you could actually see them. to the left (or below) the picture is a copy of it in it's actual size after being cropped)

(this is the hardest one in my opinion, that's why it's first, no one will get this one)

(am i the only one who sees a hamburger???)

(some people might not get this one, but it'll interesting to see what everyone guesses)

(hmmmm...???)

i'll only post 4 pictures this round since some of them are kind of hard.

let the games begin!!!!

on a closing note..

since we basically live on a farm out here, (horses, mini horses, chickens, dad..), it should be expected that we have ferrel cats, and we do! and every once in a while dad will find a litter of wild kittens, now normally they are in the barn on some soft hay.. but this last litter he found was under a green bucket thingy on the ground. they sure were precious little guys. here are some pictures for your enjoyment.

so i'm a slacker...

2008-07-09T07:57:00.000-07:00

there are a few things going on that are keeping me busy.. planning a baby shower, and now a bridal shower.. plus a project at work. this month is going to fly by... i can feel it. so forgive me if i don't stop by often to share with you the current craziness going on.
my 4th of july was great... gordon was with us this weekend so that's always a fun, special treat. we went and saw kung fu panda with the girls friday during the day then went to lehi friday night and had a bbq with the jenny and dustin and scotty. good times. saturday we were in park city and mama came with us. sunday we were back in lehi for the blessing of zayne. my cookies were a hit! it's been great to have a weekend spent with people i love. overall the weekend was awesome!

pampered and chucky cheese

2008-06-21T20:02:00.000-07:00

no, i'm not wearing a diaper in a big mouse costume.

but today, the 21st of june, i did treat myself to a 'european spa facial treatment' at

and it was amazing! i've had facials there before, but boy, this one takes the cake!

it was so relaxing and calming..

this is what it was like...

only i didn't have a flower sticking out of my head like this chick does. and deborah's arms and hands weren't black, (deborah is the girl who gave me my facial. if i could have a new best friend, it would be her)

mmmmmmmmmmm...... i want to go back everyday. deborah totally spoiled me. arm and back rub, feet and leg rub, head rub and upper chest rub. and of course the 1 hour 15 min. facial! rock on.. it was a fabulous day and i couldn't have been in better company.. my darling cousin emily. she's awesome! we laughed pretty hard today. good times and great memories including mcmuffins and slurpees.. and chucky cheese tokens. haha! and picturing emily in a big leather chair, rocking slightly and laughing to herself while some ladies near by assume she's probably laughing at what they are talking about. haha. what a total side buster! anyways, my cousin emily is a doll and i wish i got to see her and my other wonderful cousins more often. family rules! especially cause we're all so ridiculously good-looking.. especially now after that facial.

i look forward to the next time i visit this wonderful world called cameo and indulge myself in another self-pampering episode. hopefully it won't be too far in the future.

the blessings will roll forth...

2008-06-19T20:39:00.000-07:00

** "There is a bond that is created by the Atonement where the Savior binds himself to those with whom He has covenanted. The Savior never forgets His covenant people. He will always remember you, but the blessings will roll forth only as you remember Him. As you do, you will be taught. You will be strengthened and inspired. You will gain peace. And, you will be filled with love". - Richard Paul Anderson ("Your Divine Purpose")

there are some key words here that have helped me understand the importance and purpose of the Atonement. the first thing that jumps out at me is the word bind.. definition of bind: "adhere, stick firmly to, (or the joining of surfaces of different composition); wrap around with something so as to cover or enclose".

Christ is humble, loving, giving, forgiving, immortal. He's perfect. we on the other hand are prideful, selfish, hold grudges, mortal. we sin. if there are two things that most definitely can be defined as 'different in composition', it could be our Savior and us. it's nice to know that although certainly different from the Savior, he binds Himself to us, never leaving us alone. He will 'stick firmly to' us, lead us, guide us, and ultimately help us become as He is. i think of this as a physical bind that He makes with us. i also like to think of taking his yoke upon us, when we do so, He binds Himself to us. He doesn't bind us with cords around our ankles or hands, or limit us to what we can do. but like the yoke of oxen, He binds us at the neck, making us walk uprightly and humbly. and being yoked to us He walks beside us, makes our burdens lighter, and leads us to greater happiness.

the second thing that jumps out is the word bond... definition of bond: "a connection that fasten things together; to create social or emotional ties; bring together in a common cause or emotion".

the Savior definitely has a lot invested in us.. He gave His life for us and He purchased us with His blood. His acts have shown what sort of an 'emotional tie' He has to us. a relationship cannot be just one-sided. He's done His part and has forever engraven us on the palms of His hands. some bonds are deeper than others, some bonds are casual, some are broken over time. the bond i have with my mother is deeper and more meaningful than the ones i have with my friends. i know for myself that the more i have invested in a relationship/friendship, the deeper that bond is and the more meaningful the person becomes to me. as it is with our Savior. the more we give to Him, the more we make Him apart of our daily lives, and the more we become clean through repentance and through His blood, the deeper and more meaningful He becomes to us. and when both sides have invested and have developed an 'emotional tie' to each other, (which has has already done his part) then they will be 'brought together in a common cause and emotion'... we will want to be as He is and He will help us get there.

** Italics added for emphasis

such sorrow..

2008-06-14T19:45:00.000-07:00

so today matt and i went and played frisbee golf with our friends, john and lisa. we've never gone before and it was a lot of fun. i've never been one to play frisbee and after today i know why... i throw like a girl. it was great being outside, the weather was beautiful and we were in good company with friends who were tolerate of my not so good throws... the only disappointing part of the day, other than my weak arm, was when i somehow managed to lose my glasses. yes, the ones shown in the picture above. i've only had them for about a month and now they are lost. now the property of someone else who stumbles upon them.. or steps on them. all i have now is this picture to remind me of the moments we had shared together and the memory of all of the beautiful things i saw through their lenses. but even though they are gone.. it's been a great day!

something new

2008-06-11T11:58:00.000-07:00

i've learned how to crochet. awesome. i've already made a scarf to add to my plethora of scarves. now i've started a blanket. it's pretty cool. and what's even cooler?... i'm going to be a cute grandma who's going to sit in the corner and knit and crochet things for my kids and grand kids. yeah, i'll be a cool grandma. or just a really cool old aunt who never got married and spoils her nieces and nephews. i'm cool with either.

saturday

2008-06-07T11:47:00.000-07:00

so i switched shifts with a friend at work to help her out today which means i've worked 6 days this week.. not so bad when i only have to work 4 next week, but still i wonder if it's worth it. i didn't bring a lunch so when 11:45 rolled around i headed for the break room to kill some time. after jumping online for a bit i mosey-d on over to the wall of shame which is filled with shiny, (almost blinding) silver and black vending machines which are lined up one right next to the other... as i checked out the goods inside the machines i caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection of the spot free glass. After checking myself out i thought it best to fore-go the goodies and get some exercise. so i turned around and headed to leave as i came to a vending machine which didn't have such shiny glass.. and what's worse than not having my reflection persuade me not to purchase anything, was that there was ice cream inside. yes, ice cream. and what's even worse than that was that delicious mint-cookie dough ice cream was a lot more fattening than anything else i could have gotten in any of the other machines. darn it. oh-well. it made working on a saturday a lot more tolerable.. and that is exactly what i needed. but next time.. i'll definitely bring a lunch.

AND THE WINNER IS.... !!!!

2008-06-04T11:44:00.000-07:00

good job at guessing everyone! i'm very proud. thanks for taking the time to do it! everyone wins, (except for james cause he cheated)... matt told me that you could scroll your mouse over the picture and it would show you what i had titled it, giving away what the item was. but i'll give james the honorable mention for noticing. matt gets nothing cause he didn't even try guessing. the mvp goes to brandi for being the first to participate, and the outstanding achievement goes to jen. are you ready for the answers? really? you think you're ready? ok..

drum roll please!!!!!

......
....
....
.....
...
...
.....
....

1. is my phone cover

2. is the inside of the door

3. is the vent

4. is dad's lotion

5. is dad's shirt

6. is my shoe

again, great job everyone! i hope i had some of you fooled.

ps, doesn't dad look so happy?

let's have some fun!

2008-05-21T11:12:00.000-07:00

yes.. i have been neglecting my blog... it's not been on purpose, just had my hands full with projects that seem to take priority over my own need and desire to lose myself in my blog. i love this though, (blogging). it's very therapeutic. i feel like i'm talking to myself through a megaphone in a small enclosed phone booth. and yes, it's very possible people are listening, and it's very possible those people are thinking that i'm crazy. but it doesn't matter. it's beautiful for me and i love it.

i have the privilege of riding to and from work with my dad.. it's great fun. when he picks me up from work i always ask how his day was, what he did, and what was accomplished throughout the day. and that conversation only lasts for 5-7 minutes. then silence, (unless of course i have something to vent about). well yesterday he picked me up and there wasn't a whole lot to talk about.. i'm sure he'd be completely happy riding home without saying a word.. so i play on my phone or sing along to the oldies station that he has on.. that or it's talk radio.

so i took out my phone and started to snap some pictures.. see! that's me!

and i kept snapping.. so let's play a game. i'm going to post some pictures i took yesterday on my way home from work with my dad. you'll need to guess what they are. GOOD LUCK!

i'll post the answers possibly tomorrow.
1.

3.

4.

have fun and start guessing!

blind but happy.. thanks to Him.

2008-05-19T09:54:00.000-07:00

"Healing blessings come in many ways, each suited to our individual needs, as known to Him who loves is best. Sometimes a "healing" cures our illness or lifts our burden. But sometimes we are "healed" by being given strength or understanding or patience to bear the burdens placed upon us.... The healing power of the Lord Jesus Christ- whether it removes our burdens or strengthens us to endure and live with them... is available for every affliction in mortality" -Elder Dallin H. Oaks ("He Heals the Heavy Laden")

when i had my eye accident my brother Jared gave me a Priesthood blessing before one of the four surgeries i had.. i remember that he told me that i would be healed and my eye sight would be restored. after the surgeries that followed it became quite clear that my vision would probably never return, (and if it would, it wouldn't happen until there were futher advancements in the medical field specializing in retna trauma, or of course until i am resurrected). i remember that blessing and i know that even though i still can't see out of my left eye, that my brother was right and through that Priesthood blessing i have been healed and given not only peace and comfort, but a sense of humor to help me deal with what others might consider to be an affliction.

Dedicated to Cooper

2008-05-10T08:52:00.000-07:00

how many times can i say grill, yo?

2008-05-06T14:14:00.000-07:00

here i am showing off my new grill!! check it before you wreck it, yo! i waited 3 weeks to get this baby and it did NOT disappoint! i went with the two-toned with no stones.. they tried to talk me into getting 'ice' or 'bling' to spice it up but i thought the silver and gold look was classic.

you must forgive the bad lighting since i was at work in my cage.. i mean cubicle, but let's be honest, they're the same thing. but this is the 'up in yo face' pose. i should be in a rap music video.

i have a Jay Leno chin in this picture, it's really not that big, i promise. i'm trying to give a good thuggish 'don't mess with me' kind of a look, but it came out looking like i just have a really mean under bite! not what i was going for but it'll have to do.

here's the real gangsta look! me and Snoop just hung out and i'm trying to remember how the camera on my phone works... uh... and what was i just talking about? i can't remember.. what was i just doing? i don't remember.. yeah, i definitely look 'out of it' in this picture.

i'll look better wearing my grill once i get home and put on my heavy chains! then the package will be complete! but not before i take off my glasses and put on my baggy pants.. i can't wait to get home!

i think i should name my grill.. hmmm.. first i need to figure out if it's a girl or a boy.. i think it should be a boy. so now the name... it's got to be something cool, something new, and something tough. any ideas?? maybe i'll name it Slice. yeah.. i like Slice. Unless someone else suggests something better i'll stick with that for now.

Slice and i have got to get a move on.. we're headed home to change our clothes and bust a famous rapper pose in front of da mirror, yo. i know you know the one.. the pose with both of my arms crossed in front of my chest, possibly crouched down a bit looking down and the camera with maybe a backwards hat on. yeah.. that one!

i'm gonna put Slice in my friend's old retainer case, (it's purple by the way), so he doesn't get bent and he will sleep at my bedside. what a lucky little guy. i'm going to pamper him and take good care of him. i kind of have to since he's just a Rolos wrapper. that's right! you heard me.. r-o-l-o-s w-r-a-p-p-e-r. you really think i'd spend more than 65 cents on something that didn't come with candy? no siree. maybe that's why i love him so much.. because he is a constant reminder of the little chocolate carmel goodies that he once protected.. like their expensive looking silver and gold reversible blanket. and now he gets to wrap himself around my top teeth. and i'm sure he's happy that he's not sitting at the bottom of my garbage bin. so in a weird way, he and i momentarily need each other. but who knows what's going to happen to Slice when i get tired of posing in front of da mirror..

i'll keep you posted!

bored.. and in a sick way, loving it!

2008-05-03T09:25:00.000-07:00

i find ways to entertain myself.. especially at work. i do anything and everything to keep my mind distracted from the monotonous duties that make up my everyday life, scratch that, i mean everyday depression, (sigh). i Google and go through all of the websites i can find that have anything to do with the following:
-ninjas
-candy/cookies/recipes i put those all in one because i'm usually looking for recipes for candy and/or cookies
-pranks
-Georgia O'Keeffe
-scary looking sea creatures
-beached whales
-vacation spots
-peacocks
and the list only gets more pathetic as it continues.. that's why i'll stop there.
i mean, i can only read so much of the news before the depression deepens, which originally starts from being at work.. so that leaves me with the only other option of entertaining myself. a few other websites i enjoy are:
http://www.darwinawards.com/
http://www.lds.org/
http://www.myfamily.com/
so today while being bored at work, i took a few personality tests and played a few games.. that's when i stumbled upon a free IQ test.. i contemplated whether or not i should do it.. i can take some computer telling me that i was generally a 'happy' person, that i use both the left side and right side of my brain equally, and even that i make irrational decisions based on my emotions.. that's fine, i can handle that. it's only a computer, right? and the person who probably made up those lame personality tests probably has more issues than i do, like an addition to self-judgement, and probably believes if we criticize ourselves enough, eventually we will become okay.. so out of boredom i took the personality tests and i found out that i was 'average'.. i take 'average' to mean 'normal'.. so i guess there was some validation that although the person who made the tests was/is crazy, they did get something right! well i can handle being told that i am 'normal' so i welcome all of the personality tests that i come across.. an IQ test on the other hand.. i'm not sure if i can take being told that i'm stupid.. if a computer is gonna cut me, it's gonna cut me deep by questioning or even mocking my intelligence.
if there is one thing that i feel somewhat unsure of, it's probably my knowledge. street smarts, check! social skills, check! common sense, check! but whether or not i have a high IQ, that isn't really followed with an enthusiastic 'check' but more of a clear 'don't think so'. so i thought about steering clear of the quiz all together to avoid an even deeper rooted depression.. but of course the boredom drove me to it and after 100+ questions.. i guess my IQ hits above average. i've got the results to prove it.. i think i should frame it and keep it at my desk so that when my boss is ever so inclined to stop by for a visit, he will see my results and the new found confidence in my eye and give me a promotion. that or it'll make him feel bad because he'll realize that i am smarter than he is. what to do?.. what to do?.. i'll probably just toss it in the trash and continue to find new and exciting ways to amuse myself.
and i probably won't take another IQ test just in case the 'above average' result i got today was just a fluke.
street smarts, check!
social skills, check!
common sense. check!
above average intelligence quotient, hopefully.

and i can live with that.

Yorks RULE!

2008-05-01T16:32:00.000-07:00

So i'm somewhat obsessed with York Bites.. maybe that's the understatement of the year! I love these little guys and can seriously eat them all day everyday.. one of the reasons being, they go oh so well with mate, see April 23rd post. There is a problem however... my tongue is somewhat raw. Ok, I'll admit it... I tend to eat EVERYTHING weird. For example.. Twix, i eat off the chocolate, starting first with the ends then along the sides.. next is the caramel, leaving just the delicious cookie beneath. if you notice, there are holes on the top of the delicious cookie and i usually just take little bites of the cookie, one hole at a time until the cookie is gone. Example 2, Pizza! First it's the cheese and toppings, (unless of course one of the toppings happens to be pineapple, if it is, i put it to the side and save it for later), then i eat the crust, once the crust has been devoured it gets kind of complicated... hopefully it's not a thin crust pizza, if it's not, i separate the bottom of the crust from the gooey good dough that's in between the bottom and the cheese, (i usually use a fork and knife for his process), i'll eat the bottom crust part, normally by dipping it in marinara sauce, and then it's on to the best part! The gooey dough part! (hopefully it was a Hawaiian pizza, that's when i bring back the pineapple), i wrap the doughy part around the pineapple and dip it in marinara sauce. Viola! Delicious!
i could seriously keep going with the examples, but i think i've embarrassed myself enough. i'm sure you're convinced that i'm a physco who couldn't be normal even if i tried... and you're right, (sigh). i think my weird ways of eating everything all stems from my dad. Now don't get me wrong, i'm not trying to put the blame for my food fetish onto my loving father.. but deep down i think he has a lot to do with it.. let me explain..

When i was young my siblings and i would crawl into bed with my parents and usually watch 'Tales from the Crypt' before going to bed, not quite your normal nightly ritual, but it was awesome! While watching 'Tales from the Crypt' we'd normally eat popcorn, well i would always try to sit or lay by my dad, (he'd always tickle me until i fell asleep, where as my mom would stop the tickling once her hand was tired).. well sitting next to my dad while eating popcorn, i noticed that he would eat a little bit of each popcorn and the put the part he didn't eat in a little pile on or next to him.. of course being little i had the 'what' and 'why' questions always on the tip of my tongue ready to question everyone and anything.. so after asking, (probably more than once), turns out my dad would eat the kernel part of the popcorn, leaving behind the fluffy part. He'd pile those up until he had a good mouth full or so and then eat them all together. He explained that that was the way he liked to eat his popcorn because he wouldn't get the kernels stuck in his teeth. So i tried doing the same thing and my dad was right! Popcorn is awesome when it's just the soft parts. And i've usually eat my popcorn that way since, except for when i'm in a movie or at someone else's house. But now that i'm older.. i have realized a few things..

1) You're still run the risk of the kernels getting stuck in your teeth since you're still eating that part of the popcorn, it's just before you eat the soft parts.

2) My dad was pretty crazy, i mean, who thinks of doing that! P.S., he doesn't eat his popcorn that way anymore.. i think he's just gotten lazy.

3) i am just as crazy as he was, if not MORE. Now i find ways to eat everything weird.

Now i'm sure you know more about me than i originally intended to disclose, but that's ok, we've all got our quarks and fetishes. i'm just glad mine are with food and candy and not something like underwear or feet!

So back to the reason for all of the explanations.. i've been eating a lot, i mean, A LOT of York Bites lately.. first i suck the chocolate off, which i do with the help of mate, mate as you may or may not know, is an herbal tea. So with the help of the warm/hot water, the chocolate comes off pretty easy and leaves the peppermint soft and warm and i push it to the top of the roof of my mouth. i drink my mate with no sugar so i suck on the peppermint that is stuck to the top of the roof of my mouth as i drink it and it gives it a nice flavor. But it unfortunately rubs the top of my tongue raw, that and the combination of the warm/hot water leaves me unable to really taste most food, (FYI: my sense of taste returns once i stop eating the Bites that way).. but somethings are just worth it, and after much debate, (in my own hollow head), i've come to the conclusion that York Bites are most definitely worth it!

mate man

2008-04-23T15:30:00.000-07:00

mate.
i love it.

my job had a blood drive yesterday and i really thought about donating. i'm down with saving lives, heck, i was an avid donator of plasma for years.
i know what you're thinking, and yes, the money was nice but it wasn't better than knowing that the yellow-colored liquid being spun out of my blood could help save someone..
ok! ya got me! the money was great!
so i contemplated donating life saving blood yesterday, but after much thought.. i declined.
not because i'm afraid of needles, and not because i don't not want to help someone.. but because i realized that this amazing drink that i suck in all day, everyday probably makes up about 70% of my blood volume and my blood wouldn't do anyone but myself any good.. and also because i didn't want to put my gourde down to go donate. call my selfish if you must, but don't call mate anything but delicious!

Beep, beep, beep

2008-04-22T15:41:00.000-07:00

woke up today with yesterday's high hopes smudged all over my face. why do i wear make-up again? a better question would be, why don't i take it off before i go to bed?

i really hate being treated like a child. i don't think i act like one anymore, high school on the other hand.. that was a different time! however i wouldn't trade it for the world.
i definitely would have done a few things differently, but overall it was a confusing, frustrating, and a fantastic time twisted all together to make me who i am, well sort of.

i hate being micro-managed! tell me what to do and let me do it!
don't look over my shoulder
don't count the minutes that i'm in the bathroom
don't treat me like a child!
i hate my job.

i feel like a clown sometimes, put on my smile in the morning only to forget it's there when i go to bed.
i wouldn't have to fake a smile at work if i enjoyed what i was doing. sigh. but i guess everyone says that.
so much for breaking out of the mold..

Milestones

2008-04-21T13:36:00.000-07:00

i guess what i'm saying is..
that even though my life isn't at all what i thought it would be/should be..
i'm happy.
and i think that's pretty cool.
i wonder how many people can say that and know deep down that they are being honest with themselves.

it's a good feeling.